Parenting after 50
Right now gratitude is a major focus of my posting on my blog Part of my Gratitude Journey I also want to share how I really am grateful for something all year long every single day. I’ve already touched base on the people that make that I love and am grateful for.
What I am grateful for every single day is the gift of parenting after fifty. I am a later life parent. I was given an opportunity and a second chance in life. Don’t take this wrong – I loved my first chance. I have a fully grown adult son who is 29 and I have a kindergartner who is five. I have two children who are two-and-one-half decades apart in age. I consider myself to be incredibly fortunate! Yes I have different challenges. I had to worry about teething when friends of mine were worrying about their kids getting into college. I worry about one child’s developing career and the choices that he makes going into his future and whether he’s going to marry and have children soon and at the same time I am deciding on what my youngest child’s educational path is going to be (private-public) and what outfit to wear to school.
Later Life Parent
A lot of people think I’m crazy for my choice of being a later life parent and consciously choosing a role of parenting after 50. Don’t look at this and think at all I’m one of those wealthy, rich celebrities with a second, third or fourth wife young enough to be my daughter. I met a woman who’d never been married. The sweet story is here how we met. Noelle was such a breath of fresh air in my life. I had no ulterior motives when we met and she was so upfront about her desire to have a child. Noelle asked me when we had been dating each other for less than a year whether I was willing to have another child. As she said at the time – “I do love you and yet I know if I did not have a child in my life that I would be unfulfilled”. And “I’d rather know now and choose to separate before we become close and it’s even more painful or to regret later and be disappointed”. I was honest with her I had not even thought about it. I loved being a parent – I loved even being a single-parent raising my incredible son Tim all by myself. And so I told her I hadn’t really thought about it but exactly what I just said here “I love being a parent so I would consider that in my life with you when I get to the point where we want to be together the rest of our lives I would be open to having another child”. Her response was “That’s the best I can ask for right now!”.
Parenting After 50 Was a Conscious Choice
So it was by conscious choice not by accident not by circumstances but choice to once again experience the joy and the beauty of being a parent, raising a child to adulthood – parenting after 50. Yes it brings with it challenges. Yes it is odd because of my grey hair often when I’m with my daughter that nine times out of 10 people think I’m her grandfather.
Parenting After 50 – Is It Selfish?
I have heard and read on the parenting blogosphere people saying that making a choice like we did is incredibly selfish. That we made that choice without consideration for the impact of that on our child as she will grow up with a parent who was old enough to be her grandparents.
- Physical challenges, L
- Later life health challenges and
- Societal pre-conceptions
- Financial challenges.
I believe with all my heart that a choice made to be loving and share that love is one that can never be wrong or selfish.
This Later Life Parent Is Grateful
Earlier I wrote about how grateful I am for opportunities in life and I’ve blogged about the topic of how wonderful it was to grow up in a family that I felt loved, encouraged and supported. I look at that as a blessing in my life. And now – 10+ years after the initial discussion between Noelle and I – as I think about it and I think about our choices – they were good – they were and are in the best interest of my spouse, my family, myself and other involved. I really believe that this is part of my path that I was put here on this earth to share that love with more than one offspring – my son Tim. So I do believe in the rightness and blessing of it. I also never for one instant ever have a regret or question if it was the right thing. Are there many things you can say that so whole-heartedly about?
I know that it is – part of my calling to be a later life parent. I am also grateful that this second time around – raising my young daughter – I am:
- Able To Be More patient,
- Able To Be More sharing,
- Fortunate to be more wise and authentic
- More focused on her.
I know I am building my family legacy by how I interact with and love my children. I’m thankful for that opportunity – to build and leave that wonderful legacy for them to comfort them in their future as my parents did for me.
I’m also thankful for the business opportunities I have to be building a financial legacy for them that I enables me to be an uber-involved later life parent and take advantage of the wonderful opportunity for happiness in this role every day as a later life parent.